UnEmployable

I seriously do not understand why it is so hard to get a job in a library. When I graduated from library school is took me eight months to find a job here in Charlotte. Now that I am moving away the opposite is happening, there are tons of jobs open here for all types of library and information services work, and where we've move to is like a library desert. I have search for jobs every single day it seems since J accepted the position at WCU back in October. I have applied for every single job in a hour radius of our new place, I've had three interviews, two with the same library system and nothing has worked out. I keep telling myself it is because of my excellent qualifications or maybe because my pay here in Charlotte is so good...but I think I've been kidding myself. The library system I've interviewed with twice wants me to apply for another position they are posting soon, but it seems like a waste of time. If they wanted me they would have hired me already...right? On another less depressing note, practice on Monday went well. I'm sore as hell but it felt good to be back on wheels. I'm dying to go tonight but I've been up since 5am and I don't know if I can hack staying out till 10pm tonight since I have a full day tomorrow, luckily four hours out of tomorrow are a much needed spa day gift. I am trying so hard to keep it together. I'm home all weekend this weekend since J is speaking at a conference in New Orleans so I'm hoping to spend a ton of time with friends while I'm here. Here is hoping for good news. Until next time.

I'm hoping life will feel better with eight wheels.

I am at an interesting crossroads. I am splitting my time between my new home and my mother's house. I have yet to be able to attend a practice with my what I hope will be my new team the Blue Ridge Roller Girls. Tonight practice resumes with the Charlotte Roller Girls and technically I have retired. I am currently working 11 hour days and running errands on the my lunch break. I have decided to lengthen my day considerably by going to practice tonight until 9:30 meaning I will have been going nonstop since 7:30 this morning - whoo hoo 14 hour days! I am hoping getting back on skates will return some sense of normalcy to my crazy life. It will feel good to skate our some of my frustration. I still haven't heard from the job I interviewed for on the 2nd, they said they would try to make a decision by last Friday which they have not. I'm so ready to have a life in a single house hold and not be forced to split my time between two cities that aren't exactly close to one an other. So with all that said as tired as I'm going to be by the time I get off work, but knowing that I get skate tonight is at least making the day go by faster and giving me something to look forward too. Here is hoping I can make it through the day!

I just want to hit someone.

I want to hurry up and find a job so I can hurry up and get on a derby team and start working out my frustrations. My husband and I have this beautiful condo in Lake Junaluska and I'm stuck here in Charlotte living with my mom. No offense to her, but I'm almost 30 years old and I'm married it is super depressing to live this way. My husband gets to enjoy our new place, and start his dream job where I'm trapped in a nightmare. I work 4 days a week for 11 hours just to have an extra day to spend with him. I'm paying for rent and groceries for a place I spent 10 days a month at. I've applied for countless jobs and only heard from two of them, which I've interviewed for and didn't get and was then offer another position through one of the same counties and they said they would get back to be by Tuesday evening and its now Wednesday afternoon which leads me to believe that I didn't get the job. I still haven't heard from the second job I applied for in Asheville and I'm starting to lose hope. I have applied for every job that is out that way and nothing has come to fruition. I miss my husband, and a bed of my own. I just want a normal life, rather than a fractured one that happens in two places. I am trying not to burst into tears as I continue to will my phone to ring. I really, truly hate this.

Trying to keep the faith

     So fast forward from all the sparing posts in my past to my current situation. I got married on August 31st, 2014, I'm now a step mom of an adorable five year old boy, I am working as a children's librarian at a library a mere five miles from my house. I've been playing roller derby with the Charlotte Roller Girls for almost seven years now. My husband and I have a perfect little townhouse in Dilworth that allows us to walk to all kinds of restaurants, bars, and two parks. My little corgi is still little and as happy as can be, and so am I.
     Two weeks ago my husband interviewed for his dream job at Western Carolina University and less than two days later he was offered the position. Now we have to pack up and head on to greener pastures...well greener for one of us. There are no librarian jobs in western, NC. Like none, as in zero. So until I can find something, anything, we are doomed to living in Spartanburg, SC and both of us commuting to our respective jobs. Both are long commutes, his double in length to mine but there isn't really much we can do about it. I can't not work, and he can't not accept this one in a life time job.
     I swear that I am trying to be and stay positive, but I am overwhelmed with fear and negative feelings of hopelessness. What if I never find a job, more terrifying is never finding a job I enjoy as much as the one I have now. I don't want to take a massive pay cut but I know it is in my future if I want any hope of continuing to be a children's librarian. But as of this moment I feel like there is no hope since there are absolutely no jobs. I just wish I could find a job, we could move to Asheville like we always planned and get on to the living happily ever part. No such luck...at least not for now.

Top 5 Things you should know how to do in college!

As I approach the end of my career as a academic librarian there are a few things I would like to note. So many students come to college these days with no idea how to take care of themselves or their belongs. With this in mind I give you my list of
 Top 5 things college students should know before they start their freshman year..... 

5. How to send a attachment via email, this also goes for how to submit a document online.
4. How to clean up after yourself, this includes picking up your trash, pushing in your chairs, and flushing the
      toilet.
3. When to hang up your phone - when asking someone a questions, or ordering food perhaps.
2. Also on the subject of questions; how to ask a question... please at least have an idea of what you are trying to ask before you come to me. I cannot help you when you cannot put your problem into words.
And last and most important of all....
1. How to read and follow directions!!

What's it really like to play roller derby....and more importantly, what's it like to play long term.

   I am by no means old, but when it comes to the lifespan of a derby player I've been around the block. From my experience I would say the average derby girl plays for about 3.5 years. I joined the Charlotte Roller Girls back in February of 2008, it seems like ages ago. My life has changed so much since then. I quit my job as a teacher, went back to school and got my masters and now I'm transitioning from working in an academic library to working in a public library. I've had a serious boyfriend or two, had some deaths in the family, and moved 4 times. But one thing has always remained a constant in my life and that has been roller derby. 

          When I started playing I was only 22 in fact I was the youngest member of the team for a few years, I was still very green. I was just out of college and working full time. I didn't really have any friends of my own and wasn't all that close with my co-workers so when roller derby came into my life a lot of things changed. Other than work it because my new focus, I spent a lot of time at practices and going to events, working bouts and traveling with the team. As anyone who plays will tell you it is easy to become consumed by the sport itself. Old friends and relationships get left in the dust for the bright and shiny new world of roller derby.

            Roller derby will change you, make no doubts about it. You'll make some new friends, friends who will become like family to you. You will have days where every part of your body is screaming at you and it will take every ounce of strength you have to get up and go to practice. You will spend some nights in tears after a couch or a teammate yells at you. If you've never played a team sport before you will experience a high unlike any other when you become an integral part of a hard fought win. Your body will change and so will the way you think. 

           But what happens once the highs where off, when all your closest friends retire. When you are asked to step it up when sometimes all you want to do is walk away. I know this place well because it is where I am now. Five years is a long time for anything especially something as physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding as being a part of a player owned and operated organization. Add in the cost of replacing gear, paying dues, selling tickets, injuries, and of course the time commitment and it is easy to get burned out. I am surprised it took me this long to get here. It took me close to 5 years before I ever needed to take a break. I've even thought about walking away...finding something new, something less difficult. Yet, something still pulls me back to the track. There will always be a longing to put on a pair of skates and push my mind and body to their respective limits. On the other side of the coin, I'm ready to settle down. I want to start building a family and establishing my career and as those who play knows all too well derby can be a hindrance. When does enough become enough?

           I cannot answer that question for anyone but myself. I know that this week in particular has been a tough one for me. After tonight practice I will have spent 36 hours at work, 8.5 hours at practice, and maybe 6 waking hours with my boyfriend. I plan on leaving practice early tonight just to be home before 9:30 pm since I haven't done that all week. Obviously this is not a normal week; it has been heavy on the practices but necessary due to my work schedule. But even in a normal week where I go to 2 practices rather than 4 I still spend multiple hours working on derby related projects and errands for my committees. So where does a senior skater like myself go from here? I wish I knew the answer. I always said I'd play this sport until my body gives out, and now it’s more like my body gives out or my heart isn't in it anymore. I know someday my journey with the Charlotte Rollers Girls will end, hopefully in a blaze of glory....but most likely not. All I know is that this sport still makes me happy and when it no longer does I'll cross that bridge; but until then look out...because I'm coming for you!

XOXO

Bruised and Busted

   Last Tuesday was hands down the most terrifying moment of my derby career, I fell twisted around and landed on my ankle. As I was falling I heard a loud snap and all I could think was Oh My Goodness its broken. Unable to move and not knowing what to do I scream both from the pain and the terror of what had just happened. Many hours later an E.R. doctor told me it was just a sprain but I'd most likely need an MRI to check for any damage to the tendons. It just shy of a week and things are looking up. Saturday saw the end of the swelling and the bruising has seemed not to get an worse. I can put weight on it with out pain at times, but it does still hurt so I am continuing to baby it using crutches and keeping it elevated. I've got a mere 26 days to back into fighting shape for our game against ARG.
   Other than my injury, not much has been going on. This weekend was Sadie (my roommates) 42st birthday and I was able to gather some people for dinner and a night out that were both successful and made her very happy. I cannot wait until her gift comes! The only other thing I can think of to share is that I am continuing to fall deeper in love with my boyfriend. He is so good to me, and makes me so happy and I am so ready for Thursday because once it's finished I have a four day weekend to spend with him and no one else and I cannot wait!
Till something else interesting happens....